A few months ago, I was invited to a programme as a guest speaker. When I entered the auditorium, I saw some guests I knew sitting in one corner. I went up to them and started to greet them one after the other.
I shook their hands, even with the ones I didn’t know, until I got to one guest. I didn’t know him, and when I extended my hand, he ignored it. After a few seconds, I withdrew my hand. All my thoughts were, “What arrant nonsense?” I kept asking myself that question. I felt very embarrassed and angry—embarrassed for myself and angry at the man.
What was he feeling like? I thought. All those other guests accepted my greeting, and to my knowledge, I hadn’t done anything wrong. I gave him a very scornful look, greeted the remaining guests, and went to take a seat.
Even after I sat down, I was still upset. I kept stealing glances at the guest to see how he would react to other people.
And then I saw it… He was blind! His eyes were open, but he couldn’t see at all. The other guests who came to greet him had to touch him first and then take his hand if they wanted to shake hands with him.
To my great surprise, he turned out to be my hidden protégé who deeply appreciated my lectures. I never knew he had come purposely because his wife informed him I would be the guest speaker for that year’s programme. In fact, he was waiting to hear someone mention my name so he could stand and hug me.
When I heard this, my embarrassment tripled. I felt stupid—very stupid. I was still angry, but this time, angry at myself. I couldn’t even say a word to him until I got to the podium. My speech for that programme changed from “Recovery” to “The Danger of Assumption.”
Assumption Kills Like Poison
1. We Assume Instead of Validating
• Someone doesn’t pick our calls, we assume they’re avoiding us.
• Someone doesn’t give us money, we assume they’re stingy and wicked.
• Someone doesn’t call, hang out, or visit us as they usually do, we assume they no longer care.
We never pause to consider that they might be going through challenges.
2. Life is Diverse
The issues of life are different for everyone. The person who promised you money might have encountered a financial crisis. The person who didn’t pick your call might have been in a meeting or too busy to respond.
Key Lessons
• Benefit of the Doubt: Make excuses for others.
• Verification Over Assumption: Always validate your thoughts before reacting.
• Immaturity Shows in Offence: Picking offence at every perceived wrong is childish and counterproductive.
Examples:
• Someone didn’t invite you to their wedding—you pick offence.
• They didn’t wish you a happy birthday—you pick offence.
• They didn’t like your Facebook post—you pick offence.
Remember
• Everyone has battles you’re unaware of.
• The people you need help from also need help themselves.
• Not everything is personal or intentional.
• Sometimes, people are just busy with their lives and struggles.
Grow Above Offences
• Manage disappointment and maintain relationships.
• Save yourself unnecessary grudges and preserve friendships you may need in the future.
• Learn to grow above, with, and despite offences.
You will finish well.
